1. The Chocolate Bar




I stare at the blank computer screen. Normally, my brain overflows with ideas, erupting like an active volcano spewing thoughts and words in all directions. Today, was a different story - an empty void. All thoughts, ideas, spatial constructs and imagination must have crawled out of my ear, when I’d napped earlier and were now munching through stale crumbs and other unmentionables at the back of the sofa. Why were they called power naps when nine times out of ten one feels more drained and exhausted like a rechargeable battery that won't get back to optimum efficiency?

        I glance at my watch - over an hour doing absolutely nothing. I've always been good at procrastinating and fitting in an extra mug of tea here and there, or web browsing for essential items I can't live without, but can't afford. This however was a new development to just sit and stare into a vacuous screen for eighty-three minutes and achieve only a numb bum for the effort. I can't even claim writers block if I haven't written a single word. It's more like brain freeze, and maybe if I wait long enough it will start to thaw and ideas trickle into my subconscious.

      A warning light in my body tells me it needs chocolate and it needs it now! Unfortunately, all I have is my emergency ration left, but it'll have to do. I extricate myself from the faux leather chair. Previous times, I've peeled my legs off from the seat, leaving half my skin behind, but now I have a fake fur throw covering the chair, which is not an easy thing to say quickly. It's obviously low blood sugars affecting my thinking abilities and not just me lacking capability. I bound down the stairs, clearly demonstrating my desperation. The thought of devouring the smooth, silky, warm, melting chocolate indulgence propels my body into turbo motion.

        The trouble with having an emergency ration store is that one has to ensure it's not easily accessible otherwise it defeats the objective and would be consumed on a daily basis as I've found out on many occasions. So, I've devised a hiding place worthy of an army assault course. Well, actually I chucked it on top of the highest and most inaccessible cupboard in the kitchen and couldn't reach it again. It's been there for several months tempting and taunting me until I had the determination to seek it out. Today is the day. No chocolate bar's going to get the better of me. I will not be defeated. I will be victorious. Rolling up my sleeves to show I mean business, I grab the step ladder from the under stairs cupboard, open them up, place them on the floor directly under kill-a-man-with-a-jar-a, and take a deep breath.